i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
