we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
