She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
