just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
