Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize