They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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