Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
