She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
