Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
