He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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