So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
