we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
