Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
