WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
