sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I believe in your delicious
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
