Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
