so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
