I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
