so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
