You're so nebulous sometimes
Duck Duck Cougar?
i think i have two assholes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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