YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this boner is exhausting
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
