I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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