I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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