Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
