Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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