Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
