my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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