Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize