Heybabeimwearingurpanties
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
either way he was missing a nipple.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
