you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
