he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
