yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
