what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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