and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
