How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
