I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
