i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we're making bets on your personal life
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
