I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
