Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
