FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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