feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
