you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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