He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
