sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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