What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
