my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize