Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize