Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Who put my cat in the fridge?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
