so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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