His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
