if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
