I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
