You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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