Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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