I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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