I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
