Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
