I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
