Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
