I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize