hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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