You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
God, I missed his penis.
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