also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize