Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
