help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
