I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Vodka?
Forever.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
