Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
