I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
being pregnant is like rehab
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize