Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
time to smoke my breakfast
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
