I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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