I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Gay?
German.
Pity.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
