he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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