Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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