You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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