You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
