I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
