he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
