Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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